Amaaazing

Tonight my husband had to attend the annual gala dinner for Interfaith Ministries, which meant that I would be on my own for the evening. I spent the early evening at my parents' house, and then my mom and I returned back to the homestead to bathe the babes and put both to bed. After both were bathed, the little man decided he was hungry (in fact, I knew he was just tired) so I was occupied with him; my mom put the little girl to bed.

It was so easy.

My mom had her say goodnight to me and her brother, and my mom put her in the crib. Said goodnight.

And left the room.

SIMPLE.

And the little one fell asleep.

Simply....amaaazing.....

Work: want vs. need

Lately I've been fielding the same question over and over again and I would like to take the opportunity now to set the record straight.


Yes, I will be returning to work after my maternity leave.


Yes, I enjoy working for the sake of working. I enjoy what I do professionally. I am a very results-oriented person so it gives me satisfaction to work on a project and see it through. I enjoy the office environment (despite the fact that I do not socialize with my colleagues any more than necessary). I enjoy the professional challenges.

The question of "do I want to work" has not crossed my mind. I'm sorry, but when I'm at a point where I get to do what I want to do, I will not be saddled with student loan debt, a car note, a mortgage, day school tuition, summer camp payments, health insurance payments, etc etc etc.

Need I go on?

Right now, there are many things that my husband and I need to pay for. We do this ourselves. We do not count on our families to help us. We work hard, plan budgets, and live frugally while trying to give our children the best life possible. This is how my husband and I grew up, and I don't think we suffered for it.

And for those who wonder, I grew up with a working mother and I never felt lonely or deprived or anything like that at all. On the contrary, I knew that my mother loved me so much that she was/is willing to do anything to ensure I have all of the piano lessons, ballet lessons, swim lessons, summer camps, etc that I could possibly want. Oh and by the way, I traveled to more countries during my childhood than most kids. But we didn't drive the newest cars, didn't eat out, and didn't buy our clothes at the nicest department stores.

So do I want to return to work after maternity leave? Here's the real question: do I want to give my children the best possible life I can? Yes. So that means, at this point, I need to work. End of story. When the situation changes, I may change.

Hidden money found!

I found over $60 in a closet today!! WOOHOO!!

It wasn't really $60 in cash, and it did take a bit of effort on my part (went to store #1 with one kid, went to store #2 with both kids). See, we are cleaning out the guest room/storage room/third bedroom in order to convert it into our son's room, and we are moving very slowly. Today I decided to take two never-been-opened items to their originating stores to see if I can return them.

And hurrah! I was able to return both, netting me over $60 in store credit. Fortunately, we shop frequently at each store (Walmart and Home Depot) so the store credit will surely be used soon.

The moral of the story here is to return items on time and reclaim your money - no need for the stores to keep it if you want it back!!

With or without?

I am fortunate to be on paid maternity leave right now and I'm excited to "have" a summer back while I'm on leave and not go to work (yay company benefits!). Spending the last few months with my daughter (and a nanny) has been incredible and has really made me think about things. Now that I have two kids (wow, that's still hard to say), I feel that I should really maximize this time while I'm at home. And by maximize, well, I have to figure out what that means in terms of care-giving.

See, when I returned to work, I made sure that I had a nanny for my daughter, every day, all day. When I went on maternity disability leave with kid #2, I retained the nanny because at that point in my pregnancy I wasn't able to really take care of my daughter (limitations due to pregnancy). When my limitations were eased, I began feeling that the nanny was less necessary because I could take care of my daughter, and at that point my nanny left me. As the due date for #2 neared, I started to wonder - and many well-meaning people discussed this with me - how I would take care of two babies by myself. What if both are crying for food at the same time? When would I ever have time to go to the bathroom? How would I go grocery shopping? So I found a terrific lady who has been coming by to take care of #1 while I take care of #2. It's been great and not as stressful for me.

But I'm wondering again if I need this help every day. This week the lady is coming in the mornings and leaves once #1 is asleep for her morning nap. It's a very nice arrangement. Now I wonder if I can do this myself? The answer is: I don't know. I feel like I need a trial day to determine the answer to that question. Weekends don't count because Daddy doesn't go to work on weekends, and besides, weekends are existentially different from weekdays anyway. So, I basically need to do this scientifically by not having any help come in for one weekday and see how/if I survive by the end of the day.

How many more opportunities like this (on leave AND paid?!?!?!?!) will I get?

What I've been up to

Ok - so it has obviously been a while since I've posted, but I have an excuse - I've been busy. Last week we welcomed a new little boy into our family, so it's been hectic, to say the least. The last weeks before the birth I was heading towards nuttiness in terms of nesting, although I always enjoy decluttering and purging and organizing my living space. And I also felt like I needed to do something to prepare for the little one's arrival; after all, we didn't really have any baby gear that we needed to get/prepare for this one, since we already had everything from the first one. And I spent LOTS of time with my daughter, special one-on-one time that I know she won't remember but I will.

So I've been busy.

Yesterday morning, we held the bris in our home, which was a bit stressful but SO worth it. It was very beautiful and moving and as my sister said, "You could feel a lot of love in the room." The only downside is that we forgot to take pictures of our newly expanded family, but that is typical for us, but still, I would have liked pictures.

I am still getting used to the idea of having a newborn and an 18-month old, both of whom are my children. (Still getting used to the word "children", as in, plural.) Especially since my daughter is SO active. Since we came home from the hospital, I haven't been alone with the two of them except for maybe 30 minutes, and that was tough. Just right then, one needed a bath and one needed to be fed/diapered/something. So, I told everyone to calm down, I'll get to them when it's their turn, and proceeded to give a bath then quickly feed/diaper the other one. THAT was stressful.

I'm very fortunate. I never thought that before I turn 29, I would have two children. 18 months apart. One boy and one girl. I count my blessings, thank Hashem, and look forward to each day.

Cheap and easy wood polish

Mix a bit of lemon juice with a bit more of olive oil. Apply. Use immediately and don't make it in advance. Stand back and look at your polished wood in all its glory. Sure beats buying the expensive stuff.

Holocaust Rememberance Day

It begins tonight. It's such a formality, but it's necessary. It's necessary to set aside one day of the year to specifically remember the Holocaust. I feel like I never forget it. Not only do I know stories and names of relatives who died, I feel like it is my mission in life to ensure that the Nazis didn't win. That despite their best efforts, the descendants of the ones who perished, whom they worked so hard to kill, are not only alive but actively practicing Judaism. Not only practicing Judaism, but speaking of the Nazis like ones speaks of the Babylonians and Romans and all other people who tried to kill us. The Nazis are gone, but the Jews - the pitifully small in number Jews - are around. And not only around - but enhancing quality of life on Earth!! How many Nobel prizes have been won by Jews? How much literature has been produced? How about the entire concept of ethics and morality? Who came up with that (well, G-d did, but we are charged with spreading the message)?

So anyway, I lit a 24-hour candle tonight in honor of those I know who perished, the 1.5 million children who perished, and those who perished and there is no one to remember them. Here's to remembering that no matter how comfortable we feel in a society, that society can ALWAYS turn against us. No matter how "cultured" a society, the society can create the most efficient killing machine. No matter how much a citizen of your country you may feel, remember that you will ALWAYS be considered a Jew, no matter how little you actually know of Judaism. Never forget that. We Jews will always be singled out, no matter how much we try to hide. We only have each other.