Speedy flexibility

A dear, dear friend of mine who is a new mom recently sent me an email that ended with a sense of desperation as she wrote that she was so drained by the end of the day taking care of her daughter that she simply didn't have time nor energy for anything else, and how can I possibly manage with two?

To put into context, this particular friend is the most ambitious person I know, so incredibly driven when she has a goal, and is an accomplished attorney, so this plea for help is very atypical.

I have two answers (ok, maybe three) for her question. And by no means am I an expert: I remember asking the same question to another friend of mine who was ready to give birth to #2 when I was pregnant with #1 and I simply couldn't imagine how she would handle two, and of course there is the case of the Duggars with their 19 kids, so I am sure that Mrs. Duggar has better answers than I do.

First of all, this is the situation that no one tells you about. Every single person thinks that taking care of a newborn - all of the feeding, burping, changing, napping - just won't take up all day. It just won't - it can't! The math doesn't add up for the very needs that a little baby has. What's interesting here is that it does take all day and no one is yet able to figure out why.

(I think this is an official mystery of the universe.)

So, it's important to remember that everyone goes through this initial shock and there's an adjustment period. Yes, it takes several months to adjust to it all.

That being said, here are my two cents:

Cent #1: The key is being flexible. You need to let go of strict schedules (and I don't mean a schedule for baby here, I mean a schedule for you) and planning. You need to become flexible because you simply cannot control what the baby will do. Once you let go of defining yourself by a schedule, you will be better able to "go with the flow" and set your own pace. This doesn't mean not developing a routine - I actually think that a routine is important - but this means that if you always take a walk at 2 pm, but today the baby is napping at 2 and you're only able to go at 2:30 instead, then that's fine. If you try to stick to a strict schedule then you are just setting yourself up for failure.

The corollary to the "be flexible" mantra is "improvise". Substitute a towel/sweater/blanket for a burp cloth when you don't have one, use a carrot for the baby to suck on instead of the pacifier, wash the baby in the sink instead of the tub if necessary - figure out how to make do with what you've got, given the constraints that you have. 99.9% of the time, the baby will not care.

Cent #2: Be speedy. This doesn't mean that you should always be in a rush, heavens no, since rushing leads to accidents. Being speedy means that you don't have time to dally. When the baby is napping and you have a 20-minute window, you ramp up your pace to get things done. Use Clorox wipes instead of a cloth and spray bottle, use convenience foods for shortcuts, take a 5-minute shower, multi-task in the kitchen. If you want to get certain things done during the day, you're just going to have to take advantage of your non-kid times to do the priority items. (If you're flexible and you don't get everything done on your list, well, tomorrow is another day and you'll pat yourself on the back for you what you did accomplish.)

Not that I figured all of this out overnight. But for you, it's available here free of charge...

I'm a winner!

Right before Pesach, I somehow found an amazing blog called Gourmet Kosher Cooking. The principle is simple: cooking gourmet can be kosher cooking. I prefer the recipes with photos because I use the photos as a guide, but most of the recipes I've read are mouthwatering. For both Pesach and Shavuot, the site featured gourmet recipes from gourmet chefs - you know, the chefs in the fancy restaurants in New York!! The website is great in that it offers recipes for both weeknight meals and Shabbat meals, in addition to kid recipes, suggestions on great products, a forum, health-related articles, and more. It's been about 3 months and I have only read maybe one-third of the site's content. As far as recipes go, I've made quite a few and I'd say that almost all of them were repeat-able items, with some garnering raves.

Here's the best part for me -

I entered one of the giveaways and I won! I was so excited! I won a two-piece serving dish set by a designer, Alan Lee, and I got the pieces last Friday. They are so beautiful! I am so thankful that I won since this is the exact kind of thing I would always want but just never buy for myself.

Check it out - aren't they gorgeous?

Jam I am

Yes, what you are looking at right now are the fruits of our labors to date (see, I'm not counting children here). Let me explain this image to you:

The top jar with the RED STUFF is homemade strawberry jam.

The bottom 3 jars with the BLACK STUFF is homemade blackberry jam.

Let me repeat for you: HOME. MADE. JAM.

And to answer your question - no, it doesn't get much better than this.

We went strawberry picking back in May and made jam, and we thought that it was good. But then we went blackberry picking last Sunday, and we made jam, and man oh man, that stuff is good. Not to mention our jam-making technique improved so we think the quality of the jam improved. We consider the blackberry jam to be liquid g-o-l-d. Yes, it's that good.

Sometimes we share it with the kids.

Next up is blueberry picking, and I'm sure we'll make jam again.

Oh my gosh, don't you wish you lived near me now so you could try some of it...

Maya Reports!

So my super-cool friend has started a super-cool blog titled Maya Reports and it's a digest of all the news fit to print, to borrow another publishing guru's line (any guess whose motto that is?). It's all interesting news and I'm proud of my friend for starting it, and I think it's cooler than my own blog, so here's a shoutout to you, dear friend.

I encourage you all to check out the blog here.

Oh and by the way - before you leave my site - do me a favor and vote in the poll in the left hand corner there? I am just taking a survey for my own curiosity. Thanks!

The Grocery Game: Where are my savings?

My friend, the one who got me into this Grocery Game, just finished her first month in this game and this month's grocery bill is $300 LESS than last month's.

That is just awesome.

I am frustrated! I am not seeing such savings! In fact, my grocery spending is pretty much in step with last month's spending (and average monthly spend). ARGH! This is frustrating. However, I do know that I don't follow the game 100%, but who does?? I see a bit of savings, but overall, not like my friend. Not even close.

Instead of discouraging me, this is just inspiring me to do better. The monthly spend just has to be trimmed! I would be beyond thrilled if we spent $300 less....there is so much we can do with an extra $300...wow, I am practically fantasizing about it now...

The Grocery Game: Round 3

This is becoming obsessive. I now visit certain websites daily to scour the 'Net for coupons. I study the weekly grocery store circulars. I even created a new email address for myself where I direct all of the manufacturers' newsletters and promotions so that they don't clog up my inbox which is full of real mail.

Of the grocery trips that I have logged into my little spreadsheet, I have saved 37.6% of my grocery bill. NOT BAD. The only downside is that I haven't logged every shopping trip of mine...because I make a lot of little trips to buy things that I suddenly run out of, or foods for Shabbat that aren't on the Grocery Game lists, or other items (like kosher meats and cheeses). Nor did I log our trip to Costco (yes, we are members of that giant wonderland; that's another post). And Shavuot took place last week, so I feel like that has put a kink in our numbers.

But still. Hopefully the 37.6% that I saved officially was spent wisely somewhere else. :-)

Best deals to date:
Buy one, get one free of Renpro organic shampoo or conditioner at Walgreens, and if you pick up a bottle with the free trial tag (where you send in the tag and they send you a check for the purchase price), then it's really getting 2 bottles for free. NOT BAD.
Free barrettes at Walgreens. NOT BAD.
$10 gift card for sending in a receipt that showed that I bought $20 worth of Swiffer products.

Really - who wants to pay full price for anything anymore??

The Grocery Game: Round 2

I went to Randalls this past week at the start of the second week of the Grocery Game and I saved 39% off my bill. NOT BAD AGAIN. So far, my average is 34.6% saved on my grocery bill.

But here's the kicker. I am not counting the several run I had to Beldens and HEB. Beldens I go to because the eggs I buy are cheaper there, I buy my kosher meat and cheese there, and they have a few products that I can't get at other stores (like my fave brand of margarine). HEB I go to because it's right by my house, the bread flour and yeast I use are super-cheap there, and I pick up other staples.

The other problem I ran into this past week is that Shavuot hit in the middle, so I bought a bunch of items for meals that didn't fall into the Grocery Game budget. If I was smart, I would have kept all of those receipts, but that would be too painful. Not that I went crazy (and in fact, I would like to return some of the non-perishable products I ended up not using and not opening), but still, a 2-day holiday calls for nice meals. Now Sunday is upon us and once again I need to restock the fridge. Time to start making food from pantry staples again and get creative.

In hindsight, I probably should not have signed up for the Grocery Game trial when a holiday would hit, but oh well.

I also go to Target and utilize coupons there. The best coupons are for household and beauty products, and the best part about that is that Target's coupon policy allows for stacking a Target coupon with a manufacturer's coupon, so sometimes you can get a GREAT deal.

Another thing I do is scour the 'Net for coupons straight from the manufacturer's website, and these coupons don't show up on the coupon aggregator sites. My plan for this week is to come up with a list of all of the products that I use and their manufacturers (like Proctor and Gamble, Kikkoman, etc), and then I'll just go down the list and print out coupons as they appear.

Just trying to save money wherever I can...